pres.umptuo.us

Everyone must now do their civil duty and sign this petition. I swear, it’s for the betterment of mankind and we’ll all be living much fuller lives. Found over at The Superficial, which has gotta be one of the coolest sites around.

Doughy637: dude
Doughy637: im playing with my lcd
Doughy637: it’s fucken huge

What a perv. Hmm, it’s actually not that funny. Must be one of those “had to be there and only if you had my lame sense of humor” things.

Turns out this is actually really old, but today I found this list of song titles for follow-ups to one-hit wonders over at Boing Boing. Admittedly this is one of the funnier ones from the lists at McSweeney’s. A lot of them just sort of fall flat for me and only illicit a “heh”, but this list is good.

Ali G was the commencement speaker for Harvard’s graduation this year. Funny stuff, and I’m really surprised he got away with all of it. Have fun reading it though, it’s literally written in the way he speaks.

Anyways I digest. It iz a well big honour to be arksed ere today. To fink dat so many great people has been educated ere like Lyndon Banes Johnson, or as he is better known - JFK, George Clinton was also ere I fink , and de one before him, and also…William Tell - is he one of your lot, probably, and dat bloke wiv de hat, but most importantly dat really fit honey from Star Wars - if u iz out dere, me’d love to - me iz stayin at de Best Western Hotel - me’s got a really nice room, altho since dis morning dem has put a parental lock on de tv.

Relationships should be brought into dis -de 20th centrury - u women out dere shouldn’t have to do de cookin and de cleanin when u come home from work - u should do it before u leave in de morning.

A link to Conan O’Brien’s commencement speach at Harvard in 2000 for those who haven’t seen it yet.

Our beloved Kurd, Basil “Last name rhymes with Gay Hottie” Bayati, is leaving for grad school in Sweden on Saturday, although he’s going backpacking for a while before school starts up. Let’s hope he has a good fake Canadian accent for those American-hating Europeans and that he finds some nice Swedish bombshells for himself. Anybody who knows him, feel free to use this entry to leave some parting words.

An excellent BBC article about a group of volunteers at 419eater.com and how they fight back against the scammers. The best part of this article though is the Church of the Painted Breast and the image sent back by the scanner.

This optical illusion of undualting almonds is driving me crazy.

Brad’s gonna be mad; they stole his idea. Make sure to look at the ebay auctions on the side. I’m still waiting for one that has the original ringer working too.

I can’t believe I watched “You Got Served“. Horrible plot, horrible acting, horrible music. Good dancing though.

After talking with more people who have had the chance to see Spidey, I keep forgetting to say how much I love J. Jonah Jameson’s character, and how they’ve totally nailed him down in the way he acts and his personality. Of course the same could be said about Tobey Maguire, but Jameson’s character is spot-on.

Secretary: Mr. Jameson, your wife called, she lost her checkbook.
J. Jonah Jameson: Thanks for the good news!

Peter Parker: Mr. Jameson, please, isn’t there any of these shots you can use? I really need the money.
J. Jonah Jameson: Awww. Miss Brant?
Miss Brant: Yeah?
J. Jonah Jameson: Get me a violin.

Yeah, I was up late checking out Natalie Portman.

Saw Spidey again last night, the pacing is a lot faster than I remembered it and definitely worth the second viewing.

The Batman Begins teaser is going to be attached to some showings of I, Robot. Now I have a reason to watch that movie.

Ooh boy, Friday already. Anchorman’s out today, which surprisingly is getting some rather bad reviews, and King Arthur is out too, which unsurprisingly is getting really bad reviews. I love this quote that Rotten Tomatoes spotlighted from a review of King Arthur:

“Gimme an angry, bitter Mordred. Gimme seething, forbidden love and a noble leader tortured by treachery all around him. Gimme anything but this wannabe Braveheart.”

Microsoft has teamed up with designer Philippe Starck to make some cool looking mice. They look nice, but eh…doesn’t look all that functional.

Then we come upon more of my fetish for contemporary furniture, this time ASP has come up with a suspended aquarium that has some crazy elliptical curves on it. I need one for no reason whatsoever.

Continuing with my support of the great Mozilla browser, Wired has an article highlighting some of the more popular extensions available to give the browser more functionality. Installation’s a cinch too, just a single click pretty much does it.

From Richard, a bunch of photos of people showing how to ride a bike. The toilet one is the best, I crack up everytime I see it. It’s the look on his face that does it.

This guy just rules way too much. Now watch as he blatantly attacks America. Even, uh, more.

I myself feel that our country, for whose Constitution I fought in a just war, might as well have been invaded by Martians and body snatchers. Sometimes I wish it had been. What has happened, though, is that it has been taken over by means of the sleaziest, low-comedy, Keystone Cops-style coup d’etat imaginable. And those now in charge of the federal government are upper-crust C-students who know no history or geography, plus not-so-closeted white supremacists, aka “Christians,” and plus, most frighteningly, psychopathic personalities, or “PPs.”

C-students is in reference to George W. Bush, by the way, who had a less than stellar record at Yale.

A repost of Kurt Vonnegut’s commentary on the current US situation, I had to post it just cause it came back into my head and it’s something worth having on the site.

Some of my favorite parts:

The Chinese also gave us, via Marco Polo, pasta and the formula for gunpowder. The Chinese were so dumb they only used gunpowder for fireworks. And everybody was so dumb back then that nobody in either hemisphere even knew that there was another one.

…

We’re spreading democracy, are we? Same way European explorers brought Christianity to the Indians, what we now call “Native Americans.”

How ungrateful they were! How ungrateful are the people of Baghdad today.

So let’s give another big tax cut to the super-rich. That’ll teach bin Laden a lesson he won’t soon forget. Hail to the Chief.

…

If you want to take my guns away from me, and you’re all for murdering fetuses, and love it when homosexuals marry each other, and want to give them kitchen appliances at their showers, and you’re for the poor, you’re a liberal.

If you are against those perversions and for the rich, you’re a conservative.

What could be simpler?

Spider-Man 2 done in stop-motion with Legos.

Some guys got bored while camping and decided to start playing pong. Make sure to watch the video, requires the DivX codec.

I spent the 4th of July weekend with the family on yet another super-fob-bus-tour, this time on a trip to Arizona for some national parks and a boat ride down the Colorado river in Glenn canyon. Better than expected, but that’s it. Nada mas, I forget how I get car sick in the bus all the time.

Highlight of the trip was when me and my brother got connecting rooms with our parents at the hotel, and the tour guide came around knocking on our doors to make sure everything was okay. I answered when he knocked at my room, then a few seconds later he knocked on my parents’ room. My brother got the smart idea to go over and answer for them too, so I did and bust out laughing when he asked if everything was okay again. Yeah, you had to be there. Got some nice photos of fireworks while in Page, Arizona. Well, I haven’t looked at them yet, but let’s just assume they turned out great.

I’ve been wearing these corduroy pants that my cousin ordered for me from Urban Outfitters, and one thing about them is they have a button fly. Due to the loose waistband of these pants, I only have to undo the top button when I pee, and then just button back up and walk away. After having worn these for a while and then going back to the zipper, I developed the bad habit of only buttoning up the top button and leaving my fly open.

Damn button fly.

Saddam playing rock, paper, scissors.

Only in Kenya. Something along the lines of that old Badger clip. It’s catchy, trust me, I had it playing for at least a good ten minutes.

Homeland Security has recommended that people not use Microsoft’s Internet Explorer for browsing because of all the security holes it has. It’s about time somebody said something about it. I’d highly recommend that everyone switch over to Mozilla’s Firefox browser. I did it a few months ago and never looked back. Sure some pages render in a funky manner because they were designed for Internet Explorer, but in the time I’ve been using Firefox I can’t recall when that was a big problem for me. Their pop-up blocking feature is great as well; I’ve already recommended it to at least three people who were complaining to me about pop-ups and not being able to clean all of them out using both Ad-Aware and Spybot, and now, no more complaints from any of them. According to Jennie I even made her super smart future leader and only going to Princeton cause I didn’t get 800 on my SAT II’s sister not grumpy any more about surfing the web. That’s a feat unto itself.

Let’s not forget their awesome tabbed browsing, keywords, extensions, and built-in google bar features.