pres.umptuo.us

• The Shining, Redux. I would comment with “This is awesome,” but then I realized, isn’t everything I post here awesome?

  Thursday September 29, 2005

• My fingers are stuck in a chinese finger trap at the office, and my coworkers refuse to help. Way too funny.

  Tuesday September 27, 2005

• Napoleon Dynamite Utah State Fair Ads. I might have posted one or two before, but here’s all of them.

  Tuesday September 27, 2005

The 40 Year-Old Virgin

Raunchy yet it still had a decent plot considering the title of the movie. Steve Carell did a great job in the lead. Probably one of the funnier movies I’ve seen lately, yet I never got around to watching that other hit comedy of the summer, Wedding Crashers. Unfortunately it’s only playing in the second run theaters now and I might as well wait for it to come out on DVD.

Everything Is Illuminated

Better than expected, yet I felt like it could have done a lot more. There’s some great material in this movie, and it entertained me a lot more than I thought it would, yet considering the subject matter it never quite reaches as high as it could. Ever since I saw the trailer I was expecting this to be one of my favorite movies this year, yet not quite. Worth checking out if you found the trailer interesting.

Corpse Bride

First off, I forgot that this was a children’s movie. Second, I forgot that there’d be singing in it. Aside from that though, I liked it. Maybe a bit light on the story, but just getting to see Tim Burton’s sweet claymation is always a treat. I need to see The Nightmare Before Christmas again since I haven’t seen it in ages.

• Typing Test. 121 gross, 114 net, 94% accuracy.

  Monday September 26, 2005

• The Worst Halloween Costumes Of All Time. I want that Scott Baio costume.

  Monday September 19, 2005

I’m disturbed by all the teenagers walking around with their white iPod earbuds on. It bugs me cause they’re obviously trying to draw attention to the fact that they own an iPod.

It bugs me even more that they feel the need to walk around town with music blaring in their ears. While they hang out with their friends. Good communication skills there, buddy. I hope someone mugs you.

I’m sick of people who buy expensive cell phones just for vanity reasons. Quit lying to yourself about needing one that plays music and surfs the web; nobody uses a cell phone for that. In fact, I just can’t believe the people who actually pay for a cell phone; Cell phones come free with the yearly contracts.

We know you bought the $300 phone to make yourself feel better and like you actually mean something in the world. I’m deeply sorry that you couldn’t afford the Mercedes to let the world know in that way. I guess the fancy phone will do for now.

I think I’m just fed up with capitalism.

There’s nothing quite as satisfying as deleting Smash Mouth from your music collection.

I started looking at the list of winners for the Emmys, and then realized I didn’t care.

First the basics: I caught the last performance of Theater of the New Ear tonight at UCLA’s Royce Hall. New Ear began in London, played in New York, and finally in Los Angeles which should be it’s final stop. The performance is of two radio plays, which in LA was Anomalisa by Francis Fregoli (A pen name), and Hope Leaves The Theater by Charlie Kaufman.

I’m not gonna say too much about Anomalisa. Funny, well-written, and entertaining. Nothing too out of the ordinary and very much what I thought a radio play would be.

To try to write a review of Kaufman’s Hope Leaves The Theater would involve a lot of confusion and inadequate praise. I think it’s safe to say that it was the best play I’ve ever seen and ever will see. Kaufman had so many things going on, working on so many different levels, with his trademark “play within a play within a play within a play…” style. His script used the best of his cast (notably Meryl Streep playing a conceited and arrogant version of herself) and both made fun of and praised himself.

I need to learn to write like Charlie Kaufman

Reviews: Daily Bruin, Ain’t It Cool News, Margo Channing, SimplyStreep. Being Charlie Kaufman is also saying they’ll have an mp3 of the play posted up shortly.

• Bill Gates Goes to College. Microsoft and Napoleon Dynamite team up for a recruiting video. Bad quality, but flippin’ sweet.

  Friday September 16, 2005

• SNL Celebrity Jeopardy Archive!

  Thursday September 15, 2005

• Bush asks Condi if he can go to the bathroom. No freaking way.

  Wednesday September 14, 2005

• X-wing made out of a Paris Metro ticket

  Wednesday September 14, 2005

• Grand Canyon Walkway

  Wednesday September 14, 2005

• How To Win At Carnival Games

  Wednesday September 14, 2005

• Animal Reviews. On the Dolphin: “Yeah, very clever that sonar, really useful for navigating around isn’t it? What’s that? A net? Did you swim into it? Did you? Not that useful then. Not quite so clever now are we?”

  Wednesday September 14, 2005

After two days (It’s only been two?) of indecision, I’ve staved off the lure of the iPod nano and won out against the temptation of an impulse buy. I let my logic and rational thought do its talking, and realized there’s no real point in me getting a nano at this time. My 15 gig iPod still works just fine, and it’d be best to just wait it out and get a nano later on when it gets updated. With more storage space. And colors. And coolness.

And so instead I donated to the Red Cross Hurrican Relief. Not a whole $250, mind you, but a generous amount for me. Normally I’m someone who doesn’t believe in donating, and would much rather have preferred to do something that actually counted, like loaded up supplies or helped pass out food to the survivors, but this will have to do for now.

I might not have the newest, hottest fad, but at least my conscience feels a lot better.

Step two of my plan to make the world a better place.

Greg’s the first person I know to have an iPod nano experience. Conversation follows:

calkidd32: well first of all
calkidd32: you HAVE to go w/ black
calkidd32: i mean the white one was cool too
calkidd32: but the black one was the shit
valloq: lol
calkidd32: dude it was me and like 3 other guys just looking at it
calkidd32: i mean literally just staring
valloq: hahaha
calkidd32: ’til one of the guys picked it up and was like “SHIT! it doesn’t weigh anything!”
calkidd32: and he passed it around as if it was a joint
valloq: hahahahaha
valloq: LOL

calkidd32: i know for sure that each of those 3 guys was getting one
calkidd32: it was so funny
valloq: yeah man…everyone I know is getting one
calkidd32: one of the guys i guess goes to either NYU or Columbia
calkidd32: and he was like “dude my mom would kill me if she knew how i was spending my loan money”
calkidd32: and we all busted up
valloq: hahaha
valloq: that’s so funny how you guys are all just standing there talking about it
valloq: nano: bringing people together
valloq: to ogle
calkidd32: dude i’m not even sure they knew each other
valloq: yeah that’s my point
calkidd32: i think maybe 2 of them knew each other
calkidd32: yeah it was crazy
calkidd32: and the store was packed
calkidd32: like i went straight to the nano
calkidd32: and there were other ones being displayed
calkidd32: so it was like multiple groups of oglers
valloq: hahaha
calkidd32: i was gonna be like “dude how much is the floor model?”

Well I’ve been obsessing over the iPod nano all day, I might as well write something about it along with all the other Apple news today.

Continue reading “Nanonanonano…”

• iPod nano. Must…resist…impulse buy…

  Wednesday September 7, 2005

Alien 1: The Claw is our master.

Alien 2: It decides who goes and who stays.

I’m addicted to the Claw machine. Well, the ones that let you win, at least. A lot of them are scams — fixed so that it’s near impossible to win. The claw comes down over the prize, closes shut, but then as it rises the blue elephant I had my eyes on slips right between the holes. Some of the claws don’t seem to have enough strength in their grip, while some are just way too large for the tiny prizes in the machine, and others won’t go all the way down into the sea of toys waiting to be won.

Continue reading “Twenty Three”