I derive pleasure in my daily commute from exacting revenge on slow drivers. Particularly the ones that hold up traffic and show no regard at all as to what they’re doing by slowing down traffic.
Since my favored technique of crossing the dotted line into their lane has no real indication as to whether it’s bothering the slow driver or not, I’ve taken up a new tactic: driving even slower than they are driving.
As I pass them up, I casually change into their lane to get in front of them, and then proceed to slow down. Not with the brakes though; this must be done very nonchalantly. Slamming on the brakes is very dangerous and the goal here isn’t to cause a near-hit. I let go of the gas and just let my car coast, and very gradually my speed decreases — 75, 70, 65, 60. I smile to myself as the cars on either side of me whizz by.
I keep a close eye on my rear-view mirror to see if they’re still there; don’t have to worry about what’s in front of me since I’m going so damn slow. When I see the driver behind me change lanes because I’m *gasp* driving too slow for them, that’s when I hit the gas and speed away, laughing to myself at my triumph.
There’s a whole ‘nother level involved here if I decide to match speeds with them as they pass and not let them change lanes back in, but I’m not quite that cruel. Just enough to give them a taste of their own medicine.
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today, a guy whaled on his horn behind me becasue I paused for a school bus. The bus did not have its stop sign out so technically I could have passed but I never trust those situations so I slowed down to a crawl going by.
when the guy wouldent lay off his horn, I did what any other citizen would do. I shoved my car in park, got out, dragged teh guy out of his car and beat him bouncing his head off the pavement.
Then to make sure he wouldent drive away impared, I took his keys with me, drove for soem time before tossing them off the bridge.