pres.umptuo.us

• This American Life - Paper Camera. I recently found out that This American Life is releasing their shows as podcasts.

  Tuesday March 20, 2007

• Two Phrases That Destroyed American Culture. I really hate people at restaurants who act like their lives have just been ruined because of a mistake in their order.

  Thursday December 14, 2006

I am in the midst of changing jobs right now, and with that the changing of zip codes. I am heading back to Irvine and finally moving out on my own, and living across the street from a Tapioca Express, which means I will smell like noodles and boba.

As many people have oh so cleverly noted, I’m becoming the Fight Club guy with all my Ikea furniture and browsing through the catalog while taking a poop. I am very sore from building Ikea furniture, and their breakfast is about as good as you’d expect from a $1.99 breakfast (I went for the deluxe. I roll big.)

I played with the Wii. Somewhat underwhelmed. I played Gears of War for the Xbox 360. I need an Xbox 360 now.

• Guidelines for Platonic Friendship. This one’s a must-read.

  Thursday November 9, 2006

• A Look at the Numbers: How the Rich Get Richer. Ah capitalism.

  Tuesday October 24, 2006

You know what sucks? The five paragraph esssay (aka funnel method) that we were all taught in high school. It’s great to begin with, but for some reason nobody ever told us to stop using it and learn to write like you know how to write.

• A Pale Blue Dot. Putting things in perspective.

  Monday October 2, 2006

• Don’t trash broken stuff; send it back. Good to know some companies still care about their customers.

  Thursday September 14, 2006

• Sexual urges of men and women. Revenge.

  Thursday September 7, 2006

• Keeping Up with the Joneses Can Put You Behind: Money & Happiness. This is the problem with 98% of Americans.

  Tuesday August 29, 2006

I drank coffee for the first time in a long time the other morning. And by coffee I mean straight coffee, not a latte or a cappuccino or a frappuccino or a mussolinoccino. And it made me poop.

Does anyone know what part of the coffee it is that induces the pooping? I drink soda all the time so I’m doubting it’s the caffeine, unless it’s the concentration of caffeine that’s doing it. In any case, I believe I shall get another cup of coffee in the morning just to make sure it’s the coffee making me poop.

And yes, I prefer the word “poop” to “poo”. “Poo” just sounds incomplete to me. Gotta finish it.

• The Urban Etiquette Handbook. I’m not hip enough to use 90% of the stuff in here, but still good tips.

  Wednesday July 5, 2006

I joined the Quinn server for some exciting multiplayer Tetris action. Two of the players were still going at it, but I clicked the “play” button anyway in the hopes that I could just jump in, but alas, it was an “everyone starts at the same time” deal.

I fiddled with some of the options as I waited, and then heard the chime announcing the new game was about to begin. Eager as I was, I clicked the “play” button, but as I did the “play” changed to “abort”, and before I even got to drop my first piece, I was out of the game. Who knew it would automatically start the game for me?

I opened the chat for the server and did my whining.

“Man, I accidentally hit abort =(”

Someone responded and asked everyone else to abort their games as well because it wasn’t fair, and to my surprise, they all aborted and restarted the game so I could play! Courtesy and respect are two things I never expected from an online gaming community.

This was a far departure from my usual games of Warcraft 3 with 12-year-olds, who insult other players with names like “gay” and “noob” when they lag the game and bring everything to a halt.

The age difference between people who play Warcraft and Tetris accounts for the perceived immaturity, and yet if all the 12-year-old Warcraft players grew up to become like the Tetris players I played with last night, then there may be hope in a civilized future after all.

• Diamonds Suck! A Personal Essay on the Virtues of Moissanite & Why You Should NEVER Buy a Diamond. Engaged men will thank me. Engaged women will hate me.

  Wednesday May 31, 2006

• What is a reasonable offer for a new car? Good to know for anyone in the market. I didn’t realize how effective internet sales were.

  Wednesday May 3, 2006

The Beginning

It begins with a letter from Washington Mutual, informing me that I should have already received my new ATM card, and if not, to call and let them know. Seeing as how I had not yet received my card and fearing the worst, I called and requested they resend the card. Easy enough.

Continue reading “Mail Trouble”

Recently at a birthday party, a group of us post-college graduates discussed how to find more free time, yet still get paid and not have to really work. Life comes to a struggle between making money and working for the man and trying to find something that’s enjoyable in life.

As usual, the conversation turned towards teaching because of its self-rewarding nature. However, Tim, with new insight this time, turned us on to the glamorous life of a PE teacher.

Continue reading “The Secret Profession”

• How to pour Ketchup (Catsup). Full technical explanation. It all makes sense now…

  Tuesday March 28, 2006

A week from today I will be in Iowa attending the Iowa Summer Writing Festival. The University of Iowa offers writing workshops, either lasting for a week or just a weekend, each specializing on different topics and helping to further writing and the various techniques.

Continue reading “Following Through”

I thought I’d offer a tip my dad passed on to me a while back that has proven to be fairly handy. Here’s what you do anytime you’re at a fast food restaurant and order french fries or anything else that needs ketchup: ask them for an extra coffee or drink lid. Pour your ketchup into the lid and voila, you now have something to hold your ketchup for dipping. Much cleaner than pouring it into the paper bag or the plastic tray.

Bad part is all the funny looks I get from people when I ask for the lid. “You want what? A lid?”